“Here’s to You, Stellar Parent” with Kenneth McKenney – Interview #9

Welcome to the blog series “Here’s to You, Stellar Parent” where we celebrate incredible parent figures from all walks of life and happenstance who have shaped, molded, and been in our corner to raise and support us for the better.

There is no one shoe that fits all in parenting and this space is to showcase the importance of parenting, to better learn from and be inspired by them, and to be reminded of their role that deserves to be celebrated.

Today I am happy to share my interview with none other than one of my dearest friends, Kenneth McKenney.

Kenneth currently has one child with his sweet, spunky wife Joanne, little Kian who is almost two years old.

Kenneth works as an EA full-time in the education system. He likes to say that him and his wife, who is a teacher herself, are educators on vacation for the summer and because of that they really soak in this precious time with their little one. During the school year, Joanne’s Mom graciously watches over Kian during the day while they go to work. So they try to maximize their time with Kian during the evenings and weekends. Also Kenneth is a part-time Zumba instructor, which goes hand in hand with his love for dancing.

When Kenneth has time for them, his favorite hobbies are dancing, being with friends, and eating food, he is a true foodie through and through. Food is actually how Kenneth and Joanne met and how their love flourished, which has only deepened their love for each other …and food.

One fun or random fact about Kenneth is that he didn’t learn how to ride a bike until he was twelve years old. He had tried other times when he was younger with no success, but then one day he watched one of his younger brothers ride by and suddenly became determined to ride himself. Then after that surge of determination and healthy brotherly jealousy, later that day Kenneth rode his bike like a champ.

Kenneth’s current favorite TV show, that him and Joanne have been enjoying lately, is “Indian Matchmaking” on Netflix. They love the whole process of how people are set up through this wonderful, funny, charismatic woman, it’s very fascinating to them. They also love watching “Love on the Spectrum”, it just warms his heart seeing these shows where people find love no matter who they are, where they come from, or what they may be faced with in life. It just warms his heart and soul!

The following is my interview with Kenneth, which was an absolute joy to take part in, and I hope you will enjoy and learn from it as I did.


Kenneth teaching Zumba with vim & vigor!

How do you measure success in your role as a parent?

I’ve learned that success can be measured in many different ways. Success for me as a parent is after all is said and done, through the tears and the difficulties you strived to overcome, that at the end of the day that you put in an honest effort. I truly feel that that is part of success putting in an honest effort as a parent, doing all that you could despite your shortcomings. If you’re able to say to yourself, and if you’re spiritual to also say to God in your prayers, “Yes, it was a good day, it had plenty of ups and downs, and maybe there were a couple times your weaknesses came through, but you made an honest effort.” And if you are striving from day to day to be your very best and to learn from day to day how you can improve, that is more than enough and that is success.

Plus if you can end your day with a smile on your face, that’s even better. It also feels good at the end of the day to look at your spouse, or significant other, with a sigh of relief and say that you both did it. And the cherry on top for me, that I wasn’t expecting to get emotional about, is you seeing your child truly happy. Whether that be in watching them play, making friends, discovering something new, or when you see them sleeping and you take a moment and think how worth it it all is. That is true success to me. I feel like if you’re just trying that is enough.

There are many parents that feel like they may not be doing enough or wondering what they are doing period, but I mean kudos to you for being you and for trying. A lot of parents out there don’t give themselves the credit, everyone deserves to feel that they are successful in a way. Making your kids smile, helping them learn their ABCs, helping them progress in some way, there is always something good that you can pick out from your day that can be deemed as success. You just need to look for it.  

How has being a parent changed or shaped who you are personally? How has it changed or shaped Kenneth?

First of all, it’s changed me a lot. It has honestly changed me for the better. Before Kian came along, I thought about all of the things I was going to do and felt like I was going to be so ready when I became a parent. Maybe I was, but it has humbled me a lot because there are many things, not that I can specifically think of at the moment, that you find out as a parent that you find you need to work on. Like being more patient, or putting more time and effort into a certain area of your life, or whatever it may be, it’s been a huge humbling experience for me as a person, a parent, as a human being.

You also get to see things from a child’s perspective that opens your eyes and your heart, like the importance in slowing down, or the things we take for granted, it’s cool to see. I thought I was a pretty good person before but it’s opened my eyes to the growing I still have to do and Kian has helped me in that way. It’s changed me in a lot of good ways, for the better.

Who have been positive influences in your life towards how you strive to parent?

I don’t even have to think about this, I know that it would have to be my Mom, number one. And if any guy tells you not their Mom, it’s not true. Every Father has drawn some kind of inspiration from their Mother. Of course my Dad has been a huge influence in my life as well, but I guess it’s because I’ve been a Mommy’s boy my whole life. I’ve just learned so much about keeping the faith, working hard, and persevering through challenges from my Mom. I’ve learned family values, taking the time to get to know the people around you, especially your family, and my Mom is the number one most caring, most loving person I’ve ever met. She’s just built that foundation for me as a parent. I still look towards her for advice.

It’s amazing to me how both my parents came from such humbling circumstances as well. They both grew up in poor families back in the Philippines and they immigrated to Canada and worked their way up, and it’s inspiring for me to see that and to know that they did all that they could to make our lives the best that they could be.

Next would have to be my spouse, my wife. I can’t help it, you look at her and she’s just so inspiring. I mean you see her efforts in the gym and that’s amazing, but she’s just one of those women that when she has something in her head she’ll do everything she can to achieve it. I try to incorporate that into my own life from her example. Now she’s not perfect, but she tries and she’s so talented. To see her try, to struggle, to love Kian the way she does helps me a lot. It helps to know that there’s someone who is there right beside you through it all and that you can just talk it out and move forward together. Those would be my main positive influences in my life towards my parenting journey. 


Kenneth with his sweet, hard-working Mama.

Can you tell us at least one special thing about your child?

I love that Kian has this smile that is so big and it’s just the best, plus it’s so cheeky, cute, and contagious. Also another thing I love about Kian is that he knows how to party. At his first wedding reception recently, he was rocking it out on the dance floor. He was going everywhere, flirting with the girls, and having a good ole’ time. He knows how to do the sprinkler and was just throwing out these moves. He’s just always down for a good time.

What is one aspect of parenting that you feel is sometimes overlooked or undervalued?

I think we’re all guilty of this, I know I have been, is not appreciating the time that you have with your kids. I mean I only have the one, but time is fleeting and you’re going to see them grow up so fast and then it’s gone just like that. So I think it’s overlooked the time you actually have with your little ones, because before you know it they’re walking and talking, or going to school, and then you’ll be looking back and thinking of how you should have spent the time better. It’s so important to realize that you don’t have that much time with them and you need to take advantage of your time with them.

Joanne and I even now like to reminisce over Kian’s growth from a baby to a toddler, we like to joke that he’s a real boy now. But it really opens your eyes to taking advantage of the time and realizing how precious it truly is.

You saying all of that made me think of a couple things. One how my Mom is always reminding me of how the days are long, but the years are short. And the other is how I’ve been thinking about my parenting Pinterest board and how over time from being a teenager, a young adult, to being pregnant for the first time, to now having my little one getting close to preschool age, has made me realize that I’m nearing those school years that those Pinterest boards were created for and how daunting that can feel.

How it’s so easy to get swept up in worries of “have I done enough with the time I’ve been given so far?” or “how is it that time is passing me by so quickly?” or any number of woes and worries. Then suddenly you wake up and come to terms with the fact that sitting in that mindset as these stages are approaching won’t serve you or your child. We need to choose to soak in where we are right now, because it truly is so fleeting and precious like you were saying, and especially in these early years where it’s so vital to their growth and progression.

Exactly because I truly feel that that time from being a baby to age five is so vital because they are such a sponge at this time. So taking that in is so important for us as parents.

What is one piece of advice that you’ve been given that has helped you the most in parenting?

I believe my Mom has said this many times, but recently this came from my Aunt Lucille, but just before my Auntie left she said to me, “Ken, promise me one thing, that you will always put family first. Everything else is second. But your family is first, and you must promise me that, as a person and as a father.”

That has always been the best advice to me, because family really is everything. It’s where you learn, it’s where you love, and it’s who you’re with forever.


Kenneth with his beautiful, spunky, driven wife, Joanne.

I personally feel that when life gets out of balance, it’s because something is off in my home, with my family. So if the well-being of myself and my family is not made as a main priority, everything else goes out of whack. But when I mindfully choose to make them a priority, everything works out along the way and life just feels better.

Out of everything you teach your child, what are some of the most important lessons you hope they’ll carry with them throughout their lives?

Probably what I said before about making family a priority. I hope that my child, and any future children, know that their family always loves them, that their parents love them, that they have this support system, I hope that’s one of the things that they value, and that they learn and take with them throughout their lives. I hope that they will always turn to us in their time of need and that family is a safe place for them. I hope Kian and any future children will learn the value in hard work, being themselves as much as possible, and to show kindness.

I tell Kian every night before he goes to bed that he is a beautiful, handsome boy, that he is a good boy, that he is kind and that he needs to show kindness to others, I tell him he is smart, and that he is so loved. Those are the things I want him to take away for sure.

Amidst the demands and roles of life, how do you take time to care for yourself?

First of all, I communicate with my wife about my need to take some time for myself. I then typically treat myself to a massage, go for a walk, open up my scriptures, or sometimes I go to my sacred spot, the kitchen, because I just love food, and take it to our bedroom to snack on my own. That’s how I take care of myself, with the essentials.

What is one piece of advice you want to emphasize for new parents?

You are doing better than you think you are. I used to tell myself that a lot, because we can sometimes be our worst enemies, our worst critics if you will. We tend to be so hard on ourselves. There was this one episode of Bluey that I distinctly remember, where one of the Mom’s friends asks what’s going on because they noticed that the Mom seemed a bit down, and so she shares all of these things that are going on, and so then the friend says, “I need to tell you something, you are doing good. You are doing great.”

It was so simple but it hit me so hard as a parent, being reassured in that small way that I was doing good and the reminder to be kinder to myself. We receive it hard enough from the world and ourselves. But my advice is you are doing good and you are doing better than you may think you are.


Kenneth all smiles with his sweet little boy, Kian.

What is one piece of advice you want to give to struggling parents?

This too shall pass. I think it helps to know and I think there’s a reason that it’s said so often in the scriptures. Even when you are in the midst of something difficult and you feel like it’s the end of the world and that everything is crashing down on you, having that reminder brings hope. That there is hope. As my good friend President Hinckley would say, “Everything will work out in the end.” Everything will be ok.

Of course in saying that it brings out the naysayers, but it’s true. You just need to wait and see. If you’re struggling, when you take the time to look back, you’ll see those blessings, those tender mercies, and it totally outweighs all of the negative stuff, all of the struggles. Yes it’s good to acknowledge those hard things, but don’t let them define you. We have those struggles, but it helps to have someone you trust remind you that there is still hope worth holding on to.

What has proven to be most effective in how you raise and nurture your child so far?

I would say making sure that you love them, especially when you try to critique or teach or discipline them. Reassuring them, hugging them, and reminding them that you love them. Even if they don’t fully understand how you’re trying to help them, or don’t want your help, or however they may be struggling, it’s important that they know that they are loved. Whether you just give them a hug, or make eye contact to assure them you are there for them, just making sure that they know you mean well. You have to be bold yet loving. There’s a good balance in all things, so that’s something I strive to do as a parent.

What has been the most difficult part of parenting thus far?

Oh boy so far I would have to say just being patient. That’s been one of the most difficult things so far, especially as we’ve been getting into this trying toddler phase we’re entering into where he’s trying so hard to communicate with us and pushing his independence and all of that, there’s this constant back and forth between us and him.

I thought I was such a patient person before but then becoming a parent you realize just how patient you really are, along with all of the other things you have yet to learn and become better at. There are times where my patience is pushed to the max and it’s hard for sure. It’s an ongoing struggle. The struggle is real.

I feel like, especially from doing these interviews, that with each stage of parenting as your children grow there’s different forms of patience that you gain or that you wish you could have because of whatever is going on at the time, but that you’re trying to hold onto.

I myself always prided myself in being a pretty patient person, then I got married and had a child and I very quickly became very humbled in realizing my lack of patience. But over time I’ve come to realize how to pace myself, how to face those more challenging moments, and how to better build that patience muscle. It’s a process for sure.


Kenneth with his adorable little family, Joanne and Kian.

What has been the most rewarding part of parenting?

I think there’s many things if you take the time to look for them throughout your day or as you widen or brighten your perspective, but the most rewarding thing is seeing those “ah-ha!” moments that your child has. Seeing them genuinely happy, the joy in their eyes, in their smile, or when they accomplish something or as they learn and discover, it’s just seeing them progressing in life and how happy that makes them. Their joy becomes your joy.

If you could go back to when you first became a parent, what would be one thing that you would say to yourself?

I would say, “Kenneth, as a heads up you’re going to struggle, you’re going to go through a lot of hard things, have some sleepless nights. But you’re going to love being a parent. You’re going to love this child like you never could have imagined. He’s going to depend on you for so many things. You’re going to learn so many valuable lessons along the way as a parent and you’re going to grow so much as a person, I promise you that. It’s the best job ever and as a heads up, it’s worth it. You made the right choice to become a parent. It’s so worth it in the end.” I think I would have loved to have heard that then. 

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Thank you again for taking part in and reading my interview for my blog series, “Here’s to You, Stellar Parent” with my dear friend, Kenneth McKenney. 

What is one aspect of parenting that you love? Or what is one thing that you love(d) about your parent(s)?
Please comment below and share this blog post if it has been of value to you or could be to someone else. 

Also, if you have someone in mind that you think I should interview for this blog series, please let me know by contacting me either through my work email: stephanietracy26@gmail.com, or through my work Facebook page: Stephanie Tracy Writes. 



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About the Author 

Hi there! I’m Stephanie Tracy, a freelance writer, blogger, and copy-editor for hire. I specialize in physical and mental health, parenting, and self-development. I create engaging, inspiring and useful content to help businesses progress in making their viewers into customers. When I’m not writing, you can find me happily playing with my toddler, walking in the park with my family, or indulging in a movie marathon with my husband.