Welcome to the blog series “Here’s to You, Stellar Parent” where we celebrate incredible parent figures from all walks of life and happenstance who have shaped, molded, and been in our corner to raise and support us for the better.
There is no one shoe that fits all in parenting and this space is to showcase the importance of parenting, to better learn from and be inspired by them, and to be reminded of their role that deserves to be celebrated.
Today I am happy to share my interview with none other than my friend, Brittney Croft.
Brittney is mother to her four kids: the eldest being fourteen years old, the second oldest being ten, next being eight, and the youngest being six years old.
Brittney is married and works from home, managing a few different businesses as her and her husband are both entrepreneurs.
Brittney loves music and is a musician herself. She considers herself largely a vocalist and also dabbles with the guitar. She finds it all very therapeutic and soothing to her. She also really likes group exercise like yoga and being outdoors going hiking. Those are all her big ones!
Two fun, random facts about Brittney is that she used to work in the ER for nine years as a nurse, which she loved, and left a good steady job for a network marketing company. She also ballroom danced in high school.
Brittney isn’t a big TV or movie person, but does get into them occasionally. She has a lot of anxiety so anything with a lot of suspense, or crying, or darkness will keep her up at night, so she strives to stay away from all of that.
But Brittney loved the series “The Chosen”, the TV series about the life of Christ. Before that it was “Madam Secretary”. Otherwise, nothing else at the moment.
The following is my interview with Brittney Croft, which was an absolute joy to take part in, and I hope you will enjoy and learn from it as I did.
How do you measure success in your role as a parent?
If I can slow down and take time to meet my child where they are at. Like choosing to handle situations that may arise the quick and easy way vs. the hard, yet effective way. Choosing to meet them where they are instead of them meeting up with me.
Even if the results at times would be the same choosing either way, I think taking the harder way then allows me to better listen and to understand where they’re coming from, and I love the energy that comes from being able to better connect with them and how it allows them to know that they’re seen and heard and we’re better able to move on from there.
I loved how you put that about meeting them where they are and not expecting them to be where you are and to just accept what you think is best. Choosing to strive to take the time to mindfully recognize the needs of each child is so crucial, but like you said it can be hard.
I feel like when we’re busy it can be so easy to be dismissive about those needs. It’s so easy to just drag them along with the pace of life and then it’s easy to dismiss them, but it’s so much better to take the time to try and slow down, to understand them a little better, and take the time to talk. But again it can be really time consuming. It’s not an easy route, it’s hard, but it’s necessary. I get why I may not do it every time, but it is a good thing, absolutely.
How has being a parent changed or shaped who you are personally? How has it changed or shaped Brittney?
It’s brought me a lot of joy. It makes me cry thinking about it. It’s brought me a lot of joy just how it teaches you how to love.
You think you love your hobbies, and of course I love my spouse dearly, but it’s such a different experience when you care so much about these dear little kids.
They’re so funny, adorable, and maddening all at once and it comes together to be this really rich experience that I can’t imagine not having them. They bring so much life and joy!
It’s really incredible just how much they affect your life. Like you said, you can’t imagine life without them because they become so involved and intertwined with every aspect of your life, and it’s not that you’re not still you, but everything, every decision, every part of life involves them and is seen and done on a grander, deeper scale.
And just sharing life with them and having those lightbulb moments with them are so precious. We homeschooled for about eight years and that was my favorite thing.
I loved sharing life with them and opening this world of numbers, letters, stories, and music to come alive for them. It’s beautiful to be allowed to be that guide, it’s such a privilege.
Who have been positive influences in your life towards how you strive to parent?
I feel like you get to see little moments with your friends or within your family that catches your attention and you then take note to remember because of how much you like how they do something and how it impacts you.
Like one of my friends from Sacramento was correcting her child and she did it with so much love. I remember her tone that she used with him, explaining whatever had taken place and how to better address it, her teaching moment she took on was amazing to me.
Also all of my sisters are people I look up to and who influence the way I parent. I think it can be easy to approach parenting from this state of fear or shame and guilt when you address your children over something wrong that they did, like, “oh I can’t believe you did that”, or “you know better”. But my sisters have helped me shift my mindset and helped me to better understand that people can’t change unless they feel loved.
Now they’ve never called me out per say, it’s more come from watching their actions and examples with how they deal with and teach their kids or when they have been in the thick of it with all of our kids being together. I have come to really learn from them and my family, my Mom, and my husband Greg’s Mom.
You just pick it up from so many different, good people and then of course there’s the professional mentors from parenting books. Thousands of little nuggets from many who have offered to help or have exemplified the help I’ve needed has been so helpful to me. I can’t give credit to just one person because it really has been through many.
Which goes to prove the quote of how it takes a village to raise a child. Having those key members to support, teach, and encourage us in our parenting journey is so vital. 
Can you tell us one special thing about each of your children?
My oldest daughter is very ordered and organized, much more than me. I’m just amazed at how she keeps her spaces without any form of mentoring, it’s just an innate thing. I think it’s such a beautiful strength. She has many other strengths as well but that’s one that’s very prominent. She’s just a very organized person naturally. She loves beautiful spaces and it’s fun to be inspired by her.
My next eldest who is almost eleven is so good at talking with everyone. He has no bubble and has this desire to connect. Adults absolutely adore him. He just wants to talk, connect, and laugh about a joke he heard. To him there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be talking with people. Like there’s this border of wanting to have him not just talk to strangers and all that, while also not wanting to get in the way of this beautiful gift. He’s also so funny, he makes me laugh everyday.
Then my eight year old is more quiet and deeply feels in such a beautiful way. She’s so aware of others and their feelings. To a point that I have to tell her like, “I know you were worried about your brothers getting in trouble for not doing their chores, but you can’t just go and do their chores for them.” She is such a peacemaker and wants to serve and not see anyone get in trouble. She will be your best friend. We’re trying to work on boundaries but I also think it’s such a beautiful gift of noticing and it’s such a Christ-like energy of giving and serving others.
Then my youngest son has such confidence that blows me away. He has so much confidence in what he’s saying that sometimes I have to do a double take to decide if what he’s told me is true, because his delivery is just so this is how it is. I may have no idea about something but because of his delivery I almost believe that what he may say is true. He’ll even convince my eight year old girl of things sometimes, and it all comes back to his delivery. He’ll make an amazing boss, supervisor, politician, I don’t know, something in a leadership position. He’s just so bold, confident, and even sassy.
All these traits of my children are all so beautiful and yet we have to tame and guide them as they grow. We don’t want to squash these traits so that they can thrive with them as adults and I know that these traits will serve them well, but it comes down to how to best teach and help them to utilize those traits well as they grow.
What is one aspect of parenting that you feel is sometimes overlooked or undervalued?
That is a good question. Now that I’ve been sleeping for four years again, it’s funny to say this because I remember all of the exhaustion of them not sleeping and the nighttime work, but when I look back on them as little babies and the nighttime work that comes with them, it’s exhausting and hard but also really special.
Sometimes I miss getting up in the middle of the night and everything was quiet as I nursed the baby and I would get the best smiles from my little one at that time of night. Sometimes I miss that. I think often when we think about night work we think, “um, no thank you, not interested” because we love our sleep. Don’t get me wrong I do like this stage I’m in and I love my sleep, but I think I did undervalue that sweet, sweet time of just being up with my babies in a quiet space and serving them. It has its own magic and challenges.
Yes, just having the quiet, with nothing else going on with day to day life and demands and it’s just you and them really is so special and hard like you said. But it’s about taking in the stage that you’re in and seeing it for what it really is.
Right it’s that one on one time and they just have this sweet energy as babies anyways. I feel like I’ve turned into that crazy baby lady a little bit that needs to be near any and all babies. Which is hilarious because I would laugh at those ladies who wanted to be near and hold the babies, and now that’s me. I always offer to hold babies from tired Mama’s. I’m always more than willing to serve in that way, always.
What is one piece of advice that you’ve been given that has helped you the most in parenting?
I think I said it earlier but the thing that comes back to me the most is that people can’t learn or change unless they feel good and feel loved. So if I feel so mad about something, I try to bring myself back to that space of how I can get them into a space where they are teachable so I’m not shaming them or scaring them because of how angry I am. It comes down to finding a way that I can get them in a space so that they feel good so that we can change and learn together.
A spirit of love and learning vs. contention?
Exactly, and there are definitely days when I feel more Christlike than others in my parenting. So I’m not saying that I’ve mastered this by any means, but it is something that I draw on and try to shoot for when I can see that we are all out of emotional control.
It’s during those times that I know I need to regroup and notice even more how being in that state accomplishes nothing. My screaming and yelling and being so mad is actually not going to help my children figure things out, so I need to take control of my own emotions, and then be better able to guide in a better way.
Not meeting negativity with negativity.
Exactly, which can be tricky but it is worth it to be aware of and to keep trying. 
Out of everything you teach your children, what are some of the most important lessons you hope they’ll carry with them throughout their lives?
I want them to carry with them their innate worth and identity, first and foremost. When they’re upset, I want them to be inwardly focused. What I mean by that is that when they’re upset to see what part of it is theirs, because so much of it is not about the other person it’s about how you’re experiencing what’s taking place in those moments.
I want them to be able to really look at themselves in those situations, to grow, to be self-aware of what they’re contributing to the situation, and to just be generous with themselves.
Ultimately, I want them to love themselves and others.
I think having that awareness not only serves them but others because of how they view themselves personally will then be expressed in how they treat others in turn. It’s a key tool that would serve them oh so well throughout their lives.
Well and it’s funny because one of the questions that I ask my kids when they’re mad is, “What is this bringing up for you?”. And they sigh and wonder why I always ask them that.
In asking them this I’m trying to help them understand that they’re believing something about themselves in whatever situation is taking place that isn’t true and that’s why they’re so upset.
It can be so easy to see things from our reactive perspective, but there’s always two sides to the coin.
Amidst the demands and roles of life, how do you take time to care for yourself?
I’m actually really good at this.
That’s a huge gift honestly, some parents, let alone people have a hard time with this.
I think coming from a place where I have struggled with this in the past, sometimes I complain and wonder why I need to do so many things daily to just feel good. To just feel like I can show up as a great Mom. Sometimes that really bothers me. But I don’t like being grumpy with my kids, I hate it in fact.
So I’m really good with my movement goals, I try to move thirty minutes every day. That can be in the form of a walk, it doesn’t have to be P90X or going to the Yoga studio, but that’s a standard for me.
I’m also really good at supplementation, making sure I’m taking good vitamins that are making me feel good.
I’m also a bather, I love to bathe. I will even work from the bathtub often. I know that sounds super funny but I love to bathe. One thing I’ve noticed is so good for my mental health is adding magnesium to my baths. I’ll take a magnesium bath a couple times a week, and maybe I do my work in the bathtub, maybe not, I have a desk and all of that. It’s so funny to me but I can get so much done and I’m so comfortable.
I’m big on meditation. When I wake up in the morning, that first ten minutes or so I’ll either turn on a guided meditation or I’ll lay there and go through my day and create in my mind how I want it to look. Then once I’ve done that I’ll go through some mantras of thankfulness and self-love. After that I follow with ten minutes of talk devotions and scripture study.
All of these things are my lifelines that keep me going and keep me out of anxiety and depression honestly. These things are all huge for me. They don’t feel optional and that’s why I get grumpy about it sometimes because of needing so many things to feel good. But it’s ok.
Those are some beautiful, strong tools to help in giving aid and support to that headspace you are striving to create. That just sounds like a perfect way to start a day or to help a day go forward well. The bath scenario alone sounds luxurious.
I laugh at myself regularly over it. But I mean we have to get clean anyways so you might as well enjoy it and get some work done too. Why not?
What is one piece of advice you want to emphasize for new parents?
I think something that kept me going through the baby years, and I know it’s not always predictable because their schedules aren’t the same everyday, but if I could wake up even ten minutes before my baby and do some of those things we just talked about, my mood was so much better and my whole life was so much better.
So if you can just give yourself five or ten minutes, it’s ideal if you can start your day that way, but even if it’s in the middle of the day I think it can be helpful to reset and take care of yourself as an individual.
Because those are such demanding times when your kids are babies and I think it’s super important to take that time for yourself because it seems like you can’t get enough time for yourself or that it’s impossible.
So again just waking up a little earlier to give some time for myself is one of the habits that helped me during that time.
What is one piece of advice you want to give to struggling parents?
I mean it’s the same, doing something everyday that replenishes you. Also I’m naturally a very positive person, but I think there’s a lot of lift that comes from playing the gratitude game. It’s even a good idea to do it with your kids, but if you’re a new parent with babies they can’t really play with you of course.
So just reflecting on even the simplest of things like a color you love, a food that you enjoy the taste of, anything that can help to pull you into a better spot and focusing on gratitude is a game changer.
I was reading this book the other day that talked about looking at gratitude from a subtraction standpoint. Basically they referenced the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” where in it George Bailey looked at what his life would be like if he had not been alive and not involved in the lives of others, the author of the book was then saying that as you focus on a gratitude practice to look at what you have, love, and cherish, and then imagine what your life would be like without it. Somehow I guess the research done on this proved that doing this gave a more powerful response.
It’s an interesting strategy that I haven’t tried yet but I found intriguing in enhancing a gratitude mindset. So again for me I would advise on focusing on gratitude and connecting with gratitude in a way that moves you.
I really like that subtraction standpoint in deepening gratitude, I’ve never heard of that before. That’s really powerful and I could only imagine would really enhance what we have and then holding it in greater value and care.
Exactly. It also reminds me of when you have a bad dream and a loved one dies in a dream or something like that and you wake up so thankful and relieved that that person is breathing and ok.
I think it feels like that and it causes you to have a glimpse of what your life would be like without it and it’s awful yet relieving to know that that person or those things are a part of your life. Having another day with that person or that thing that fills your life becomes a true blessing. It makes sense even if it takes you to kind of a scary place a little bit.
What has proven to be most effective in how you raise and nurture your children?
We do tuck-ins at night, most nights. When we’re all home, my husband and I will tuck our kids in and I’ll set a two minute timer to snuggle, chat, and be with each kid individually. But sometimes when there’s a need, I turn off the timer and we just keep talking.
It’s my standard to just snuggle them at night and give them that personal time that keeps the habit going. The kids are also very feisty about it, like if another kid comes in during their personal snuggle time they will order them out.
We’ll talk about the best part of their day, the part of their day they didn’t like, anything and everything, and it’s such a sweet standard of them feeling loved and seen. Doing this has been very nurturing for them. Even if they are mad at me, they’ll still want their snuggle time which I think is so powerful. It’s been a good thing for us.
What has been the most difficult part of parenting thus far?
I think conflict when you’re tired is so hard because it’s an exhausting job. My oldest generally brings me new situations that I’ve never had to think about before and when I don’t know how to parent in that situation while being tired, oh my gosh it’s so hard.
Trying to figure out how to handle the situation in a way that you feel great about that is good for them and good for you and then putting on the sheer exhaustion of the job on top of it, I don’t feel like I get it right very often in those circumstances when I’m so tired.
It really is a very demanding job where it takes all aspects of physical, mental, spiritual, and so on. Being rested and not being caught in an exhausted moment is hard.
Right, like when I feel grumpy, tired, and not feeling emotionally up to gently reminding or anything like that in those hard situations I don’t like how I feel in those moments and how I handle those moments.
What has been the most rewarding part of parenting thus far?
My kids had all of their end of the year programs recently and it’s fun to sit back and watch their confidence, their participation, and sharing what they love and what they’ve learned, the sense of pride that comes with that in seeing them grow and it’s so fun being with them through the growth.
It’s such massive growth so quickly and you see it so well. So watching them develop into humans that you totally adore, laugh with regularly, and are genuinely proud of the people they are becoming is very rewarding.
Seeing them grow into themselves is such a gift. Seeing them recognize the world and the people they become in that world is so exciting.
Yes, and a huge thing that kept us homeschooling was that I loved those lightbulb moments. For as long as we homeschooled them my best moments with my kids were when we were doing school together.
We connected and watched them learn how to read, how the world works better, watching them get excited, those moments of progression and seeing the world in new ways was so sweet and was also so rewarding.
If you could go back to when you first became a parent, what would be one thing that you would say to yourself?
I would tell myself to stress out less. You want everything to look perfect and all that. I was so stressed with my interactions with my first kiddo or two in their tiny years. I think part of it has to do with having no idea how to do this and that’s its own kind of stress.
So I think that if I were to talk with myself back then I think I would say to trust myself more and to relax more. I do remember bringing my second baby home and thinking how this was so much more enjoyable because I didn’t feel like I had to breathe for him like I did for my first.
I remember sitting up at night chock full of anxiety holding my first baby, because when she was inside of me I could feel her and I knew that she was fine, but then in that moment I couldn’t sleep and I was then staring at her beautiful face just making sure she was breathing. And I was so tired but I had to hold her to know she was ok.
Those levels of stress and not trusting myself were so high, so I would definitely address that in making sure I trusted myself more and relaxed more. You think you have more control than you do, but you need to breathe, let it be so, and give yourself grace along the way.
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Thank you again for taking part in and reading my interview for my blog series, “Here’s to You, Stellar Parent” with my dear friend, Brittney Croft.
What is one aspect of parenting that you love? Or what is one thing that you love(d) about your parent(s)?
Please comment below and share this blog post if it has been of value to you or could be to someone else.
Also, if you have someone in mind that you think I should interview for this blog series, please let me know by contacting me either through my work email: stephanietracy26@gmail.com, or through my work Facebook page: Stephanie Tracy Writes.
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About the Author
Hi there! I’m Stephanie Tracy, a freelance writer, blogger, and copy-editor for hire. I specialize in physical and mental health, parenting, and self-development. I create engaging, inspiring and useful content to help businesses progress in making their viewers into customers. When I’m not writing, you can find me happily playing with my toddler, walking in the park with my family, or indulging in a movie marathon with my husband.