At the tender age of six months, the last thing you would imagine a child going through is being faced with the odds between life and death.
Unfortunately, my family was faced with such devastating odds when my sister was diagnosed with bacterial meningitis.
Meningococcal septicemia is a blood poisoning disease that hits its victims mercilessly. Of those who contract the disease, tragically 40 per cent die. Then there are 40 per cent who survive with few or no complications. However, 20 per cent are left to deal with major amputations, along with other life long complications. These statistics only pertain to those diagnosed and treated within eight to 24 hours.
One moment, Brittany was this sweet, healthy baby who hadn’t even learned to crawl, and suddenly, just like that, she was hooked up to countless machines, doctors and nurses surrounding her 24/7 fighting to keep her alive.
Beginning the Journey of Endurance
After a tireless, stressful, agonizing month of being in the ICU and another month in recovery in the pediatric unit, the start of her miracle recovery process overcoming meningitis was only the beginning of Brittany’s life journey.
As a result of the disease, she had to have her right arm below the elbow, right foot, and some fingers and toes from her left hand and foot amputated.
Brittany’s growth plates in her bones were damaged and therefore would affect their growth and development. Her teeth were weakened by the medications trying to keep her alive.
She would undergo years of physical therapy and many surgeries, mainly for the stress her knees and legs as a whole would be constantly put through.
Brittany would endure intense phantom pains time and time again.
And as if the physical toll was not enough, she would be faced with bullying, low self-esteem, and emotional distress.
However, despite the hurdles, roadblocks, and the negative, degrading voices, both outward and inward, my sister has been a true example to me of not just simply enduring, but enduring well.
Enduring Physically
My sister’s physical ailments and limitations, as some might call it, have been anything but limiting. They’ve been the very things that have helped her to soar higher and to serve better.
Even as a baby with tubes coming out of her nose, there is photo evidence of her sweet face glowing with an endearing smile across it.
But despite that glow and the will to fight, time and time again, the world has still aimed to tell her “you can’t”.
You can’t overcome this illness. You can’t walk properly or play like other children. You can’t play the piano with one hand and a nub. You can’t perform in musicals because it requires too much energy that you don’t have. You can’t because you’re not like everyone else. You can’t. Sit down. You can’t. Let someone else who’s able. You can’t. Don’t try. You can’t.
Overcoming the Battle
However, my sister’s life motto, as she stands strong with that same determined, endearing smile across her face, responds back with, “Don’t tell me I can’t. I’ll try. And if I can’t the first time, I’ll find a way. But don’t tell me I can’t.”
She was given a prosthetic arm and leg not long after she returned home from the hospital. The leg was and still is a huge help to her to walk, run, play, and dance, but that arm was seen as a limitation in her eyes, even being so young. She chewed on it, got annoyed with it, and threw it off, and that was the end of that.
Her right nub was used to write, to draw, to play the piano, to communicate, it was not merely seen as a wasted limb.
There are few times in her life that I have seen my sister truly need physical assistance. She’s not afraid to ask for help when needed, but she’s also able to find other ways that she can see things through on her own. As a sign of independence, discipline, and creativity.
She has taught me the strength and endurance of the body comes first from the strength of the mind and spirit. Through every hurt or hold back we are made stronger and more able, if we will first choose to allow this to take place.
In doing so, she has not only helped herself move forward, but has constantly looked for how she can lift where she stands to help those she comes in contact with.
Her so called limitations are used to strengthen those who also think they can’t, are used to show compassion, are used to be a friend to the friendless, and are used to be a light of hope to those who need it most.
Enduring Mentally & Emotionally
I want to make something very clear. My sister is my hero and even being under five feet tall, I do look up to her greatly. However, to say that she has endured every physical and mental hardship she has been faced with, with absolute optimism would be a lie.
Even as each of us physically overcome hurdles, our minds at the same time must go through its own growth process, overcoming obstacles to survive and endure no matter how daunting and overwhelming.
Doubts, personal demons, lack of self-confidence, self-love, mental illness in different degrees: all come with the intent to trip us up and tear us down.
Brittany has been no exception to this.
With skin grafting and surgery scars, with amputated limbs and a prosthetic leg, having to use 50% more energy than the average person to do just about anything, has not only come with physical hold backs and pain, but has taken an inner toll as well.
Lingering, judging eyes, bullying, and even having to battle her own inner demons that chime in to see her fail.
With being told out loud or in her head: “you’re ugly”, “don’t try”, “you can’t”, “you’re worthless”, “you’re not special”, “you’re annoying”, “you’re useless”.
Such cruel, pain-staking lies would be enough to cause anyone who’s down to stay down, and even worse, to believe they’re true.
On more than one occasion, she has either come to me or I have found her with blood-shot eyes from crying, stomping her fist and nub on the ground being so overcome by the emotional toll of her trials, pain, and crosses of life she’s been called to bear.
Such emotional breakdowns are accompanied with asking if there wasn’t another way? Why couldn’t this all be taken away? How did this burden placed upon her have to be so much to bear? Why couldn’t she just be like everyone else? Why did she have to exert so much more energy than everyone else, and be left oh so tired and beaten down? Why did she have to endure through the searing, frightening phantom pains? Why did she have to endure the looks, the whispers, the pointed fingers, the judgement at every waking moment of her life? Why? Just why?
Brittany’s hardships and heartaches don’t just come from what makes her unique, but are also from the everyday trials we each face.
Anxiety has become her companion in recent years, from high school and into university, through figuring out her place in this life, being accepted, understood, loved.
And don’t we all? How often do we question who, what, where and why we are, who we are in the eyes of others, and in the eyes of the person staring back at us in the mirror?
We live with ourselves so we know our every weakness, every doubt, every mistake, every weight that would hold us down and keep us low & in the dark.
As we sink into the deep corners of our mind, the white noise of our pain and struggle can be so deafening and seem to last for what feels like forever, even leaving us wondering, what’s the point then?
Overcoming the Battle
Half of the battle is coming to terms with the fact that these moments of defeat and questioning are just that, moments.
More times than not Brittany will stare into the face of what would see her fail with determination and hope.
After being knocked down over and over, Brittany chooses to stand up, to rise, to dust herself off, and keep moving forward one step at a time. To look in the mirror and see someone worthwhile. Worth fighting and simply living for.
But she has also taught me that we don’t always have to go through this process alone. In fact, a support team is needed, always.
Because sometimes we need to be given a hand back up again. Sometimes we need a shoulder to lean on, cry on, or someone to hold our hand. Sometimes we even need to be carried by those we love and trust while we take the time to rest and to heal. Being vulnerable is a sign of strength, acceptance, and growth.
We are not required to be strong all the time, let alone try to do so on our own.
And as we constantly choose to go on, we then start to notice and acknowledge the good we possess and have done, the strength we have acquired, which gives us a renewed view of ourselves and the world.
That it’s ok not to be ok, but it’s not ok to stay there. We can fight the good fight. Not just enduring by the ends of our fingernails, but enduring well.
Again, it’s a process, not a quick fix. It’s a constant choice, one foot in front of the other. Choosing to continue moving onward.
Learning to Continue Enduring Well
Endurance is defined as the fact or power of enduring an unpleasant or difficult process or situation without giving way, or the ability to withstand hardship or adversity.
Thinking back on that little baby covered in tubes and wires with monitors beeping, lying in a hospital crib, to a young girl being told “no you can’t”, to a young woman continually defining who she is, Brittany stands firm, choosing to never give way to the personal demons, naysayers, and the odds posed against her.
My incredible amputee sister chooses to endure. Chooses to overcome. Chooses to live, to withstand every hardship and not let it define her, but refine her.
And I know that if she can, why can’t I? Why can’t we all? One step at a time.
Now I’d love to hear from you, what is something that helps you to overcome hard times in your life?
Please comment below and share this post if it has been of value to you or could be to someone else. 🤝
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🎉https://stephanietracywrites.com/benefits-of-gratitude-towards-our-physical-and-mental-health/
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About the Author
Hi there! I’m Stephanie Tracy, a freelance writer and blogger for hire. I specialize in physical and mental health, parenting, and self-development. I create engaging, inspiring and useful content to help businesses progress in making their viewers into customers. When I’m not writing, you can find me on the floor happily playing with my baby boy, walking in the park with my family, or indulging in a movie marathon with my husband.
What Having an Amputee Sibling Has Taught Me about Endurance
