Photo Credit: Andrea Barnes
Welcome to my new blog series “Here’s to You, Stellar Parent” where we celebrate incredible parent figures from all walks of life and happenstance who have shaped, molded, and been in our corner to raise and support us for the better.
There is no one shoe that fits all in parenting and this space is to showcase the importance of parenting, to better learn from and be inspired by them, and to be reminded of their role that deserves to be celebrated.
Today I am happy to share with you my interview with none other than my own Dad, David Blommaert.
David has three children: Stephanie who is 28 aka yours truly, Todd, soon to be 25, and Brittany soon to be 22.
David is married to my mother, JoEllen and is a working parent, and a man of many skills.
His favorite hobbies are watching sports and reading business books.
One fun, random fact about David is that he is currently the same age as his father was when he had him.
David’s current favorite movie is The Lord of the Rings, may seem like a cop out to some, but you can never deny a classic.
The following is my interview with David which was an absolute joy to take part in and I hope you will enjoy and learn from it as I did.
How do you measure success in your role as a parent?
That’s a loaded question. Hopefully I’m teaching my children to be better than I was.
So not just in having more but in their character, how they contribute and go about their lives, that’s what you’re hoping?
Yeah better people, better parents, better citizens.
What have you found have been key factors in raising your children?
JoEllen, my wife, is one key factor.
Second key factor is I saw what my parents did and didn’t do. Being the youngest I got to see their mistakes, but it doesn’t mean I completely learned, but I learned a lot about how I wanted to run my home.
Who have been positive influences in your life towards how you strive to parent?
I think my Mother was the number one influence. She was a very kind soul, very stern, but she had a way of making parenting about not teaching and disciplining through the traditional spanking sense.
She had a way of sitting you down and you knew you were in the wrong but it wasn’t a form of manipulation. It was almost like a form of influencing you for good. Just the way she was able to guide and that she wasn’t heavy handed.
Can you tell us one special thing about each of your children?
Stephanie will always be my sunshine, probably because she was the first and we had waited so long to have her.
Todd because being a man you always want a boy, it’s sort of a selfish thing, but it doesn’t diminish the other children.
Brittany I would classify her as a miracle.
Each child is important in their own way.
What is one aspect of parenting that you feel is sometimes overlooked or undervalued?
Time. I know I sacrificed career opportunities so I could be where my kids were. Mainly because of, and this is a bad way to explain this, but because of things my Dad didn’t do.
He had all the time in the world to have come to my events, but he typically would avoid them. I don’t know if he did them out of spite towards my Mother, because he was always being encouraged. But I intentionally did the opposite of what he did.
I went to all of your performances, your school stuff, your extra curricular stuff.
You always made sure to give the time that you felt we all deserved and that you sincerely wanted to give. I don’t ever remember you not being at something that we did.
For me not to be somewhere was rare. One event I think also instilled the importance of being with my kids and how precious time is was one time I was far away for my little girl first Father’s Day and it really took the wind out of my sails. Even though I was doing an act of kindness at the time, it was hard to be far away from my little girl.
What is one piece of advice that you’ve been given that has helped you the most in parenting?
I hate to say it but I’ve never been given any proper advice. It’s all self-learnt.
Cause I’ve seen, not just from my Mom and Dad, but even just from watching my siblings, since they’re so much older than me, I got to see how they interacted with their spouses and their children. My observation skills were in tune to the point that I was able to be smart enough to see what I was seeing and understand what I was seeing.
Out of everything you teach your children, what are some of the most important lessons you hope they’ll carry with them throughout their lives?
I hope that they’re honest, that they’re good to their spouses, and that they’re good to their kids.
I think those are fabulous lessons, in that they are lessons that will hopefully be carried forward.
Amidst the demands and roles of life, how do you take time to care for yourself?
Nowadays I go for walks.
Back then, I didn’t think much of myself then. I knew I had to take care of myself, but it probably wasn’t a priority. I was still young and stupid.
What is one piece of advice you want to emphasize for new parents?
Enjoy every moment because it goes by too fast.
What is one piece of advice you want to give to struggling parents?
Lots of time for the kids and lots of time for your spouse, everything else doesn’t matter.
What has proven to be most effective in how you raise and nurture your children?
I think it’s about structure and having good habits. I think it’s also about having the basics of praying together, reading scriptures together, eating together at supper time, just all of it comes down to time. Personal and familial habits are one in the same, ultimately.
What has been the most difficult part of parenting thus far?
As I like to joke with people, the best years are the first few, then they become independent but they’re still super duper adorable, eventually they become teenagers at which point you would like to dispose of them, and then all of a sudden a miracle occurs and they turn 18 and you the parent has a brain in your head again, and that’s when it’s fun to be a parent again.
You just have to show the patience through the teen years while the kids are going a little mental. Gratefully all three of my kids were relatively normal, whatever normal is. Although the older I get, the more I don’t think normal really exists.
I was just lucky to have kids that I did and I think it came from the fact that we tried to have so much structure without anyone realizing it was structure. There was just a natural flow and expectation that was understood by everyone and seen as normal life.
But it also comes down to the only way the whole parenting thing works is if both parents are on the same page. If you have one parent wanting to teach one way and the other wanting to parent another way, it is so confusing to the child. Which is what I grew up in.
But if it’s a team effort, and it’s all about the kids, well actually it’s more about the husband and wife which then radiates to the kids. Cause if the parents aren’t getting along I guarantee you the kids aren’t getting along.
What has been the most rewarding part of parenting?
Watching kids be adults.
One thing I thought about before we even had this interview is that too many people think that parenting stops at 18 or when the kids move out. Parenting never stops. When it ends, it’s when I leave the planet.
Unfortunately too many parents abdicate their thrones before they need to, they still need to be there to help and assist and guide. Doesn’t mean they need to do, but they still need to be assisting and guiding, the doing is up to the person, whether the child is 2 or 20 or 40 or 60. Or if I’m lucky 80 and I’m still around.
If you could go back to when you first became a parent, what would be one thing that you would say to yourself?
Stop being such a stress head.
I think the one thing, and I’ve said this about most of my life, is that I wish I had documented more. Like actually properly journaled to keep a history of little people growing up and the silly things that they do which were so funny.
I think in a lot of ways I would have let it happen the way it all happened, but I think the only change would have been to just document. Pictures are great, but writing something down, just thoughts and impressions as life goes by, especially special events.
You have a thought and nobody will know what that thought was because I never wrote it down and the thoughts are gone now. I’m sure if I really dug hard I would find them in my head but not the initial thought of what’s happening in those precious moments.
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Thank you again for taking part in and reading my interview for my blog series, “Here’s to You, Stellar Parent” with my Dad, David Blommaert.
What is a childhood memory, set during the summer time, that you most cherish?
Please comment below and share this blog post if it has been of value to you or could be to someone else.
If you have someone in mind that you think I should interview for this blog series, please let me know by contacting me either though my work email: stephanietracy26@gmail.com, or my work Facebook page: Stephanie Tracy Writes.
About the Author
Hi there! I’m Stephanie Tracy, a freelance writer, editor, and blogger for hire. I specialize in physical and mental health, parenting, and self-development. I create engaging, inspiring and useful content to help businesses progress in making their viewers into customers. When I’m not writing, you can find me happily playing with my toddler, walking in the park with my family, or indulging in a movie marathon with my husband.