12 Things I’ve Learned in My First Year of Being a Mama

From the moment that sweet newborn babe is placed in your arms, you’re automatically hit with a cornucopia of thoughts and emotions, mostly having to do with being overwhelmed with love and anxiety.

Then a week or two rolls by and you go between thoughts of, “will I ever sleep again?”, “you are the best thing that has ever happened to me”, “what am I doing?”, “am I enough?”, and “oh how I love you!”.

Being a first-time parent can be overwhelming, exhausting, humbling, and yet so gratifying! It’s easy to think that you’ll never measure up and wonder if you’ll ever be the parent your little one needs, but I want to share with you 12 things I’ve learned in my first year of being a Mama that has given me perspective, drive, and allowed me some grace along the way.

1) Reality Checks 

Because time is a fickle friend, life will catch up with you, and before you know it one moment your baby has been born and placed in your arms, and then BAM your baby is now 6 months and then a year old.

My Mom is famous for reassuring me or any parent with this quote, “The days are long but the years are short”.

Reality checks come often and hit hard when you’re a parent, reminding you that this time with your little one will pass, which is why it is that much more important to embrace each moment and take note of its value, even the ones that make the dark circles under your eyes darker.

This won’t last forever, but the impact, time, and love with your child will.

2) Take Mental Snapshots

One of my absolute favorite moments from the tv show “The Office”, is on Jim and Pam’s wedding day, they are constantly taking mental snapshots, of the good and the maybe not so bad.

One moment, in particular, is when it seems like the day has been ruined and stress is running high, they share a moment taking a mental snapshot of one another in a ripped veil and chopped up tie.

Now it may seem odd to reference this moment, but the reason that it has stuck with me, especially as a new parent is we often feel pressured to take all the video footage and capture all the photos cause we don’t want to miss a thing or regret a moment left behind.

Life is the messy bits, but every bit of mess creates a life worth cherishing and capturing, even if just in our minds-eye.

Because how much more important is it to step back and take in moments and be present? I have found that those mental snapshots are far more precious and personal to me, and also remind me not to take these days and my child for granted. Because again: the days are long but the years are short!  

3) Be Patient With Them and Yourself 

Now not every moment is going to be something worth capturing or singing about, that’s just the reality of life.

There will be days that you are not your best or your little one will have a rough day because of growth spurts, teething and life being so overwhelming for them.

One of the main keys to keep in mind in those moments, and they will come and be many, is to not set unrealistic expectations, and to be patient.

Be patient with your little one, they are learning and don’t yet know any better, and be patient with yourself, you too are learning and it will be ok. Take a moment to step away for a moment if you need to realign yourself and try, try again.

4) Breathe

I specifically wrote a whole article on this topic back in March about the importance of taking moments to breathe, to recenter, and to be gentle with yourself.

Being a parent is no easy feat, and the world is constantly bombarding you with how to be the perfect parent otherwise you’ll fail. It can be so overwhelming that we at times become our own worst critic and are at war with ourselves.

But dear parent, the best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to breathe and be gentle with yourself. Take each day a moment at a time. Breathe. Remind yourself to do this every time you feel you’re losing your nerve, that you’re drowning, that you want to give up, and feel you have nothing left to give. 

You do have much to give. Your love. Your love is enough. You are enough. Breathe, just breathe.

5) Have Fun

There is much you need to keep in mind and take seriously, but don’t get so uptight that you forget to spend quality time with your child and have fun.

Yes, you are allowed to have fun and have fun often.

Spending quality time with your little one from the get-go will create a special bond between the both of you that will center them and build trusting and an increase of love. 

6) Use Your Imagination

Whether in playing games, their growth, or bonding, using your imagination will you give much aid in creating the greatest memories, will save you money, and be the greatest teaching moments for you and your child.

For instance, a few weeks ago, I was decluttering and cleaning around our place, when I got to our linen closet. I was going through our blankets and towels, and had a moment where I thought, “how can I make this a fun activity for my little boy and get to interact with him while still getting chores done?” Immediately, an idea came to mind: I took all the towels and blankets into a huge pile and created a ‘blanket nest’ as I called it.

I then grabbed my little boy and threw him into the pile. He laughed and laughed, we rolled around in the pile, played peekaboo, and had a grand ole’ time.

Since then whenever I get a blanket or towel out, my little boy will start giggling and clapping his hands, which then inevitably leads to the making of a ‘blanket nest’ and time well spent together.  A little imagination and careful thought goes a long way!

7) Be Present

Dear parent, don’t let your screens, social media, and pings and dings become more important than your child.

Being truly present by setting aside technology, using them less, and being with your child more will be a gift to them and for you!

Whether you put certain locks or limits on your phone, placing your technology out of sight, out of mind, or being mindful to only use them during naptime or after bedtime, make sure your child knows that your time with them is theirs alone and that they are truly your priority.

Your example will set the stage for them as they continue to grow and how they treat and view time and quality in relationships.

8) Nap

Sleep? What’s that? I know as a parent the thought of rest at times seems farfetched.

But getting rest at any moment you can is crucial for your mental and physical health and well-being.

Whether it’s when your little one naps, or when your significant other gets home, or even if you need to call someone to watch your little one for a few minutes, take advantage of napping whenever you can.

There is no shame if you need some extra rest, cause yes, even you superman/woman needs it. And trust me, the house & everything else will still be there and can wait.

9) Utilize Your Tribe

It can be hard to ask for help especially when you feel that you need to figure everything out on your own as an adult and as a parent.

But please dear parent, never be afraid or ashamed to ask questions or ask for help! Whether from your child’s pediatrician, your parents, partner, siblings, in-laws, friends, whomever, whenever.

Ask questions, ask for help, just do it! It can give you much-needed relief, answers, and comfort that’ll serve you and your child well.

10) Share What You Love and Be Mindful of What They Love

For years I have been purposefully saving books, movies, stuffed animals, and a couple of baby blankets waiting for the day that I have kiddos of my own to share what I love with them.

It’s exciting to share your childhood favorites with your little one to connect with them and give them that same added joy those things have brought to you.

But just as important as all that is being mindful of their likes and interests, in other words, have eyes to see what they love!

Maybe you notice that their eyes widen or sparkle when they see certain animals or their smile gets a little bit bigger when they experience certain activities or watch certain shows, even if it’s not something you may fully enjoy, taking an active, selfless interest will benefit your relationship with your child and make them feel heard and understood. 

11)  Be Flexible 

With little kiddos, something that they thrive off of are routines and consistency overall. It helps them feel centered, they can anticipate what will happen next, it gives them confidence, and also a sense of control.

But now and again, change in life does occur, teething flares up, growth spurts and development take shape, and sometimes routine gets thrown out the window.

Don’t let this overwhelm you, but choose to be flexible.

Just this last week, my little one had been experiencing a lot of changes and rough teething. One day he wouldn’t take his nap and he was extra fussy.

So instead of feeling defeated or upset that I couldn’t get anything done, I picked him up, sat down in our big, comfy chair with a cozy blanket, and turned on one of his favorite shows. He immediately calmed down and cuddled in with me.

Now it won’t always be that easy to calm them down or to do a complete 180-degree change with your day, but being willing to be flexible where you can make it easier for you and your child to face challenges and unexpected situations with calm resolve will make a world of difference.

12) Hold Your Baby Close and Often

Kiddos grow up so fast and too fast, and before we know it we go from baby cuddles to crawling, to get up and run all in the blink of an eye it feels like.

So take advantage of every moment possible to hold your little one close and often. No matter what people may say, you cannot spoil a child by cuddling or holding them.

Little ones who are held often and have their needs met are more likely to have higher self-images and learn they are respected and worthy.

You can never express too much love towards your child, so build up, love, and hold your little one while they are still little. 

BONUS: You Know More Than You Give Yourself Credit For!

Seriously, it’s called a mother’s intuition for a reason. No one knows your baby as well as you do. You know their different cries, their needs and wants, and how to best care for them. Follow your gut and your heart for it will never lead you astray especially when it comes to the care and well-being of your child.

Take heart, take care, and know that your best is enough.

Dear Parent

As I’ve taken the time to write this all out, I know I’m not a perfect parent. I know I will continue to learn and to grow myself as I strive to be the parent my child specifically needs. But I know that my love for him is enough to keep us going and to raise him well.

As is your love. You may question, regret, and make mistakes, but what parent in the history of the world has ever gotten it completely right? But at the end of the day, I want to say it again, that your love is enough.

Your love will steer you in the right direction, will enlighten you, and give you comfort in knowing that you are the right parent for your child.

Be open to learning and developing as your child does, continue to express love and discipline as needed, and do and be your best, taking it one day at a time. You’ve got this parent! You’ve got this. 



Now I’d love to hear from you: What has been the best parenting advice you’ve been given? Please comment below and share this post if it has been of value to you or could be of value to someone else.


**If you enjoyed this article, feel free to check out these other great & insightful posts:

🎉https://stephanietracywrites.com/28-life-lessons-ive-learned-in-28-years/

🎉https://stephanietracywrites.com/5-ways-to-gain-hope-empowerment-as-an-overwhelmed-mama/

🎉https://stephanietracywrites.com/benefits-of-gratitude-towards-our-physical-and-mental-health/

🎉https://stephanietracywrites.com/why-giving-your-baby-the-freedom-to-explore-will-benefit-them-in-the-long-run/



About the Author 

Hi there! I’m Stephanie Tracy, a freelance writer and blogger for hire. I specialize in physical and mental health, parenting, and self-development. I create engaging, inspiring and useful content to help businesses progress in making their viewers into customers. When I’m not writing, you can find me on the floor happily playing with my baby boy, walking in the park with my family, or indulging in a movie marathon with my husband.