How often do you find yourself at any given time of day thinking, “how is this my life?”, “I’m not good enough”, “my kids deserve better than me”, “I can’t keep up”, “I don’t have enough time”, and the never-ending list of demeaning, overwhelming thoughts of how we don’t measure up as a Mom, let alone as a woman? Unfortunately, far too often.
Our demands and stresses are high, and we are left spent and wondering what it’s all for? My dear stressed out Mama, if this is you, has been you, or if you ever find yourself here later on, please allow me to reassure you it’s ok to feel this way, but it’s not ok to stay here.
Your call to Mother is not an easy one, but it doesn’t mean that you need to lose yourself or be left weighed down and frustrated at your wits end. It’ll happen for sure, but it doesn’t need to be a constant. There is hope ahead for you personally and there is meaning to all that you do.
Whether you are a stay at home Mom, working from home Mom, working outside of the home Mom, going to school Mom, are a single Mom, or whatever kind of hat or hats you wear as a Mom, I want to offer you 5 ways to gain hope and empowerment as an overwhelmed Mama to serve you and see you forward well.
1) Connect Not Compare
Far too often the sole reasoning for our overwhelmed and defeated state has to do with the merciless comparison monster.
Through social media we see an influx of glamorous highlight reels and compare them with our tired, dingy behind the scenes. And if the comparison with others that we both know and don’t know isn’t bad enough, we even place comparison with ourselves, our past selves to be more specific. We question and demean ourselves by thinking back on our past circumstances and strengths versus our current situation and obvious weaknesses.
We used to be so toned, have clear skin, have so much energy, and felt like we knew who we were and got it all done, and now we barely get our hair in a messy bun or ponytail and get somewhat decently dressed, hoping to complete those projects, make sure the kids are not just fed and taken care of but made time for, and we won’t even go into the state of the house.
Overall, we let comparison outstay its welcome, when in reality, connection is what we need to set the limelight on. When it comes to social media and the people in our lives, all of our forms of connection need to be used as a means to be inspired, to be encouraged, and a means to celebrate and comfort one another, even ourselves.
If there is anything or anyone that is not serving those purposes, it’s time to declutter for the better. For the better of your mental health, for your environment, and for your positive influence as a mother and in being the woman you want to look at in the mirror everyday with a reassuring, confident smile, even while the littles are screaming joyfully or otherwise in the background, you deserve connection that uplifts and empowers you.
2) Create an Environment that Benefits & Uplifts 
In going right along with the last point of decluttering your social media and overall mindset, it’s important to also create a physical space that will benefit and uplift your spirits as well.
I have done this in a few ways:
a) On my gallery wall, I am a huge quote person, and not just “live laugh love” kind of stuff. I mean friendly reminders that ground me and buoy me up when I need it most. I know what I need to read to set me straight or to embrace my soul so to speak.
b) Our senses are a key factor in how we gain peace and resolve, and I gain great satisfaction from the smell and sound of candles. Cedar, lavender, and fireside are just a few scents that I love the most that fill my home, and to add to the ambiance is when they are those crackling wick ones that make you feel like you are camping in the great outdoors enjoying a relaxing evening under the stars. That does my soul a world of good.
c) Most of my home consists of furniture, kitchenware, gifts, etc. that came from loved ones near and dear, as well as dearly departed loved ones that have all played a crucial role in mine and my husband’s lives. Nothing in our home is pointless or just because it looks nice. Everything holds meaning and adds an aura to our place that welcomes and soothes everyone and anyone that enters in, making them feel like they’re at home.
d) Decluttering has been a huge game changer for me! I’m not a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination but I am far more intentional by what stays and comes into my home as I have simplified it. I have found that taking inventory of what resides in my home makes me more mindful of what I love and what is truly serving our family, and what is ready to be discarded either by recycling, donating, selling, or trashing altogether. I honestly find myself breathing better at the end of the day as cleaning up is easier and it makes my overall anxiety lower so that I can focus on what truly needs my time and attention, including and most importantly, taking care of myself.
Creating an environment that is welcoming, smells amazing, inspires, and calms me gives me an increase of hope, reminds me of what I’m capable of, and fuels my drive to do and be all that I can, one step at a time, and also clears the cobwebs so to speak to what is most important and what needs to clear out. All of this makes my many roles in life more attainable and enjoyable.
3) Leave the Drama
Our lives are not meant to be filled with meaningless noise and negativity to weigh us down, which is why it is crucial as the women in our homes, in the workplace, and over our lives to simplify and purposefully leave the drama online, mentally, and in our day to day lives.
It takes intentionality and consistent effort to set healthy boundaries and to declutter our lives so that we can put forth our energy on the things that matter most to us. Doing so will not only help us to be strong examples to our kids, colleagues, loved ones, and others that may cross our path, but will enable us with strength beyond our own and we will feel a huge weight lifted from off our chests and off our shoulders.
Leaving unnecessary baggage and drama may make us ask for help in the form of support, therapy, exercise, education, or a call to better love ourselves as we deserve. There is no shame in doing this, only greater power, relief, and peace. However your call to help may look, take the time to recognize what the next best step is to leave drama and negativity behind as you move forward as an empowered wife, mother, career woman, learner, and person.
You deserve so much better than the drama and negativity that would leave you blind to your capabilities and worth.
4) Reality Check: “Mom life isn’t always beautiful & post-worthy, and that’s ok!”
Motherhood in all its glory is a tiring and often thankless job that leaves us wondering how in the world any woman is capable of getting a semi-decent picture making it look so glamorous and perfect.
Moment of truth for every single one of you reading this, even those that are posting that picture perfect shot of family life has it hard too. Mom life isn’t always sunshine and roses, completed with spouts of endless adoration and an incredible home-cooked meal that Martha Stewart would be proud of. And dear Mama, that is ok. Let me say that again and please read this carefully, that is ok!
Each season of life, let alone Motherhood, is different and what you are or are not capable of from one moment to the next will differ. Your call to nurture and Mother will be different, your health will be different, your mindset will be different, so Mama amongst the differences allow yourself some much needed grace.
Motherhood is not easy and anyone who says it is is lying. It’s ok not to be ok, to acknowledge and feel the stress, to have an emotional outburst and a couple breakdowns, and it’s ok to let out the tears and scream out the overwhelm. But it’s not ok to stay there. Sometimes the most imperfect moments bring about the greatest moments of growth, clarity, and connection, for yourself and your family.
Let the imperfections along the way teach you, make you laugh even, open your heart more, and even heal you. Instead of looking for the perfect picture to post, look for the mental snapshots you want to treasure and hold dear, for those will last much longer and mean so much more in the long run.
5) Step Back, Be Still, & Get in the Fun
Going along with that last thought on taking mental snapshots, Mama, when was the last time you were truly present in the moment, realizing that these are the good ole’ days that’ll one day be looked back on, and got in on the action of making memories?
Instead of taking the pictures, be in the pictures, whether your makeup is intact or not, your kiddos will not care about your mascara or that your face is at the right angle, they will care about the treasured photos of their Mama whom they love. They will care that you cared enough to actively listen, to actively participate, to actively showcase the importance of caring for family and self, and that you were actively engaged in creating a good life, not a perfect life.
Empower yourself by being still amongst the distractions, demands, and the noise even for just a few minutes a day to be reminded of your worth and of all that life has placed before you, and then seize this moment and the next and the next and the next.
Take hope in knowing that if you fumble, and you will, that your path has been tread by other wonderful mothers that tried, doubted, and then rose up with dignity, strength, and were even willing to be silly and be their own true blue, authentic selves along the way, and did so shamelessly.
If they could do it, I know you can too. So if for right now your best is running, then run. If for now you can only walk, walk. If for now you need to be carried, allow yourself to be carried. Tread firmly and proudly dear Mama ever onward, you can do this!
Now I’d love to hear from you, what trait did your Mother or a Mother figure in your life have that you admired?
Leave your comments below & share this post if it has been of value to you or could be to someone else.
About the Author
Hi there! I’m Stephanie Tracy, a freelance writer, and blogger for hire. I specialize in physical and mental health, parenting, and self-development. I create engaging, inspiring and useful content to help businesses progress in making their viewers into customers. When I’m not writing, you can find me happily playing with my toddler, walking in the park with my family, or indulging in a movie marathon with my husband.